"I will tell him sorry."

Last night before bed, Caroline brought me her picture Bible and asked me to read from it. Before I could put away the book I was reading, she was already turning pages in hers. She said, "Let's read about when they're dead."

"When who's dead?" I asked.
"Jesus. About when they kill him and die him."

She got to the section of her Bible that deals with Jesus' death, pointed to a very simple and touching illustration of him on the cross and asked, "Why there's blood on it?"

"Because . . . (I had to think about how I wanted to put it) they put nails in his hands and feet so he would hang on the cross." This struck me as extremely gruesome at that moment.

"And that poked him?"
"Uh-huh."

"Why they did that?"
"Because they wanted to kill him."

"Why they wanted to kill him? They didn't like him?"
"No, they didn't."

"What were their names who killed him?"
"We don't know the names of everyone who killed him, but a lot of people were angry with him and wanted him to die."

Caroline turned the page and asked what they were doing there. I said that after Jesus died they took his body to bury it.

Next page--"and what there?"
"All the people who loved Jesus were together talking about him and missing him."

Next page--"and what there?"
"She is going to where Jesus is buried to think about him and remember him, like how we go to where Lindsey was buried to think about her and remember her."

Next page--looking at me, waiting . . .
"She finds out that Jesus isn't there anymore. He isn't dead."

She turns the pages quickly--
". . . and she goes to tell the other people"
". . . and they go and see that Jesus isn't there anymore"
". . . and they go to tell everybody"

"And what he's doing here?"
"Jesus comes to them and explains everything to them."

"Who got him to be alive--God?"
"Yes."

"Is he in Heaven with God?"
"Yes."

She thought for a minute, shook her head, and with her face down said, "Maybe if I can go to Heaven, I will tell him sorry."

"Sorry for what?"
"That he died."

I thought this was a very tender thing to say, and it warmed my heart to see her so touched. But I wanted to emphasize the hope of the story, so I explained to her, "Well, Jesus isn't dead anymore, remember? And you know what--it hurt him to die but he wanted to do it. You could tell him sorry that it hurt, but he wanted to do it so he could save us. He was so strong that he could have made the people not hurt him, but he let them kill him so that he could die in our place."

"Could God have maked them not kill him?"
"Yes, he could have, but he was letting them kill him so . . . so that we wouldn't have to die the same way he did."

I started to explain sin to her and how Jesus was paying for our sin. As I talked she was turning pages the other way in her Bible, and she came to the story about Lazarus and asked what was happening there. We switched from the topic of sin to the topic of graveclothes because she wanted to know why Lazarus was wearing all that white.

I sensed that our moment of "deep" conversation had come to an end, but I am certain she will come back to the topic soon. This challenges me to be even more prepared for the next round of questions. I think back to when I was very young and found the comfort and friendship of Jesus . . . how sweet to know Caroline can have this as well someday, maybe even soon.

I am really enjoying being a mother right now--we have so much to learn together and I can't tell you how exciting this is for me!