Caroline's 11 Things

Caroline and I were lying in her bed this afternoon for rest time. I had told her I would cuddle her for a little bit before she had to rest. She wiggled and squirmed and seemed to have other things on her mind. Lying on her back, she brought both hands up to where she could see them and began to snap--her newest trick. When she first started trying to snap about a month ago, her fingers barely made a sound together. Now when she does it, she will occasionally get them to make a little pop and she's so excited.

Today she did several legitimate snaps in a row and let out a little squeal. Apparently, this series of snaps was confirmation that she could, indeed, now snap. "There are so many things I can do now!" she said. [Beginning to count on fingers] "I can snap, I can whistle, do cartwheels, do handstands . . . four things!" She put her four fingers right in front of my face to show me.

"Wow," I said. It was all I could do not to squeeze her guts out. I reminded her that she also knows how to swim. She let out a little gasp--"FIVE things!" she shrieked.

She lay there beaming up at her five fingers. "And now I need to learn two more things--do a headstand and do a head-and-hand-stand. And then I will have this many [holding up seven fingers] things!" (I am not sure what a head-and-hand-stand is, but I'll give her that one. When you're listing all the things you can now [or will someday be able to] do, it doesn't hurt to throw in a few extras.)

"Then I will be able to do seven things good!" Her eyes were wide in amazement.

"And--you can count to ten in Spanish," I reminded her. Another finger popped up. "EIGHT things!" The excitement was too much. "What else should I learn how to do?" she asked eagerly.

"Maybe . . . blow a bubble (something she's been asking me to demonstrate lately) and . . . read (because she asked to learn how) and . . . tie your shoes (isn't that an important kid milestone?)."

"Um, can I you use your fingers? I'm running out of fingers to count," she said, since she was maxed out at ten. She wanted us to start all over. She took a deep breath and stared at the two tiny fists in front of her face. She looked over at my hand to see if it was ready and began reciting her list.

"[1]Snap fingers, [2]whistle, [3]do cartwheel, [4]do handstand, [5]swim, [6]do headstand, [7]do head-and-hand-stand, [8]count in Spanish, [9]blow a bubble, [10]read, [11] tie shoes (she looked at me to see if I was following along with my one counter). THIS MANY THINGS!!" she proclaimed, putting her ten next to my one.

I did almost squeeze her guts out. It's hard not to sometimes.

This go-getter personality of hers has been evident from birth, when she was straining to hold her head up the day she was born and continued bobbing it around until she really could, way earlier than you would have felt comfortable letting her do so. Every nurse that handled her seemed almost baffled by how strong she was.

It's like in her little baby mind she already had a list and she wanted to get through it as quickly as possible. Hold head up (check), roll over (two months), sit up, scoot, crawl, walk a little bit (eight months), walk all over the place (9 months). She was not very cuddly during her first year of life--she had to be moving and doing.

She does cuddle now, much to my delight. But she's still moving and doing. There's just so much she wants to do, and right now she has five things to check off her list.

Tiger

We watched the US Open as a family a couple of weeks ago when it was on. Caroline paid close attention each time Tiger Woods was golfing and cheered when he did well.

The following Monday, right after the Open had finally been decided, she and I were sitting at Firehouse Subs eating lunch and the tv there was on with the news. Caroline was watching political coverage very closely for some reason, which led her to ask, "Mama, does Barack Obama play golf?"

It was funny enough to hear her say "Barack Obama," but I was especially amused that she wanted to know about his golf game. Later Jeff asked why she wondered that, and she said, "because he has brown skin like Tiger Woods."

At the dinner table the other night, Jeff told Caroline that he had just seen some pictures on the computer from when she was a baby. He said, "You were holding your tiger and he was white!" (Her stuffed white tiger, which she has had since birth, is no longer white but grey after being dragged around for four years.)

Caroline missed the point of what he was saying, though. She looked at him incredulously and said, "He used to be white?!" She thought he was talking about the other Tiger. :)

New Vocabulary

Caroline disobeyed tonight and was about to be disciplined, and she started crying and lamented, "I don't know why I'm so disobey-able!"

Another word to add to her made-up-words list. :)

More Tom Sawyer

The crush has been undoubtedly confirmed. Caroline received a gift in the mail Saturday--a CD with the songs of the Tom Sawyer musical and a DVD of the production that her Aunt Meesh directed at her school. Caroline was overjoyed. She wanted to listen to and watch them both immediately.

I let her listen to the CD in bed Saturday night (which was a mistake--she listened to it twice and still wasn't ready to go to sleep), and then she watched the DVD Sunday afternoon after church. I wish you could have seen her face as she watched. She grinned from ear to ear when Tom came on-stage. She grinned when he did funny things and ornery things. She grinned when people got on to him ("This is the part where Aunt Polly pulls his ear!"). She grinned when he sang and when he talked. We were eating lunch while watching it and she barely ate unless we reminded her to.

I tried to take a few pictures but the angle isn't great since I was trying to stay out of the way of the tv. :)







This morning I went to get her out of bed to get ready for swimming lessons and she was lying there, already awake, listening to the CD again. Often she climbs into our bed once it's light outside, but this morning she told me, "I thought to myself, 'Mama might still be asleep so I'll just listen to my music and wait for her in my bed. Was that a good idea?'" So basically the first thing on her mind was not climbing into bed with us but listening to Tom Sawyer again. All throughout the day today she would go into her room, listen to a few songs, and then pause it for later.

We had the neighbor girls over to play this evening and I overheard a great little bit of dialogue. The girls were huddled on the couch, shrieking at the imaginary lions all around them, and Caroline came up with a plan, "Hey, guys! [girls still shrieking] Hey, guys! [still shrieking] Guys! Listen! I have a brother named Tom Sawyer and he pulls ears, and he can pull those lions' ears and get them away from us!"

The girls had no idea what she was talking about, but it sounded good.

Shortly after Caroline came home from Chicago in May, I dug through the book boxes that are still packed up in the garage and found my old copy of Tom Sawyer. I remembered it having some pictures and I thought it was abridged, so I figured it might be something Caroline would like. Well, it turns out it is not abridged. It does have a few color pictures but the rest are just black-and-white sketches at each chapter heading. I wasn't sure how it would go, but Saturday night I told her we could read it. She listened through the whole first chapter. At one point she was fidgety, so I said, "We're almost done," and she said, "I wasn't hoping that," meaning--that's not what I meant by wiggling around like that.

Sunday we read all of Chapter 2 and she loved it. In that chapter Tom gets his friends to whitewash the fence for him. They actually pay him to let them do it. While we were reading, Caroline made a connection with the musical--"that's where they say, 'don't feel like work to me!'" She also noted "that's not what his hair really looks like." The boy in the book illustrations has blonde hair. The "real" Tom Sawyer (Michelle's student) has dark brown hair.

And, she tells us, Aunt Polly and Injun Joe and Huck Finn are all just pretending to be Aunt Polly and Injun Joe and Huck Finn. But Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher aren't pretending. Translated: the Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher you see on-stage (and that Caroline met) are the real deal. The rest of them are actors.

Tonight before bed we were all sitting on the couch and Jeff said something and I asked, "Who?" and he said [predictably], "Joe." I knew that if I said, "Joe who?" he would say "Joe Mama." Ha ha ha. So I just said, "Who?" again and he said "Joe" again and I said, "No, really, WHO??" And Caroline piped up, "JOE HARPER!!"

Can you guess where she got the name Joe Harper? That's right, he's a character in . . . Tom Sawyer. I am pretty sure we will never hear the end of this. I am pretty sure that in about a week she'll have the entire musical memorized. It's a cute little obsession.

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Caroline and Jeff took a trip to Chicago at the beginning of May, and while there Caroline found a new love--Tom Sawyer.

Jeff's sister Michelle was busy that week directing her high school students in the musical The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. Caroline got to go to school with Auntie Meesh (as she calls her), and sit in on a speech class and go to play practice. She was, by all accounts, on top of the world.

At one point she even said she didn't miss me.

Well, ever since coming home from that trip, Caroline has talked NON-STOP about Tom Sawyer. Whereas she used to have 33 sisters (the number is always in flux, but has been in the thirties consistently lately), she now has 3 brothers as well. They are: Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, and Injun Joe ("he's not really a mean guy--he's just pretending").

When she came home she was singing the songs from the musical, talking about Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher as if they were her best friends (always using their full names), and laughing over and over about Tom's Aunt Polly pulling his ear. She just couldn't get over the pulling of the ear.

She would be in her playroom acting out some drama and then come running into the kitchen (laughing like she couldn't believe what had just happened) to tell me a HUGE story, and each story would have as the clincher some kind of ear pulling.

"And we were playing chase and then Tom Sawyer caught me and he pulled my EAR!"

or

"And then Aunt Polly pulled Tom Sawyer's ear and then Tom Sawyer pulled Becky Thatcher's ear AND my ear! He pulled both of our ears!"

I would usually say something like, "Oh my goodness, that is so silly." And she would agree, "Tom.Sawyer.is.so.silly!" and throw up her hands and shake her head, grinning.

I began to wonder if she might have a crush on Tom, either the character she saw in the musical or the actual student who played Tom on-stage. Either could be possible--she spent a lot of time hanging out with the high schoolers during practice, so much time, in fact, that she thought she was one of them. My sister-in-law told me that when a fellow four-year-old asked Caroline if she wanted to color, Caroline told her no! She would normally be super excited that someone was inviting her to do something. But she was completely taken with her bigger friends.

Below is a picture of Caroline and the big kids playing her Go Fish game. The one above is her as Becky Thatcher. :) Pictures compliments of Michelle (thanks!).

Vacation Quotes

Speaking of vacation, if you want to see some pictures, click the Flickr link on the left and choose the "TN Vacation" set.

We got Caroline some new crocs and, while thanking us, she told us just how much she had needed the new ones. Her old ones didn't fit anymore on the heel, she said. The old ones were too small now since her feet had turned four.

***

Jeff asked Caroline, "Do you want to go horseback riding one of the days we're here?"

Caroline: "Yes! And cowback riding! That would be SO fun!"

***

Caroline would NOT quit talking (question after question after question) in the backseat of the car Saturday evening and I was kind of getting a headache. I said to her with mock amazement, "Caroline, your mouth just can't be quiet tonight, can it?" And she said, in the most agreeable tone, almost as if she were as "surprised" by it as I was, "No, I'm just so questionable."


This reminded me of a time last November when we were getting the car loaded up for a trip to North Carolina. We were getting out of the house a lot later than expected but still planning to drive through the night. It was already pretty late, so after I buckled Caroline into her carseat I handed her a pillow.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"So you can rest while we're driving because you'll be tired."

"No, I won't be tired--I'll be soooo askerful."

I smiled, wanting to just laugh out loud. "What's askerful?"

"You know, like ask a lot of questions."

Of course I knew. Anyone who has spent ANY amount of time with her knows. Even she knows. She describes herself better than anyone. Not inquisitive or curious--just very, very questionable and askerful.

Good Friday

Caroline has said out of the blue a couple of times recently, "I love God." Today she asked Jeff and me if we loved God. I said yes and Jeff said yes and then she asked Jeff "how much?" After he said, "very much," she replied with, "not as much as he loves you!"

She was in the backseat of the car drawing on a piece of paper when she started this conversation. She asked me, "What does a cross look like?" I pointed in the direction of (funny enough) a huge cross in the distance (in front of some kind of outreach center, I think). After drawing for a little bit she said, "I drew Jesus on the cross, see?"

I looked back to see her drawing of Jesus on the cross, as well as her version of a hand and a foot (separate from the cross drawing). She had the words to a song in her head, one that we sing at church and also have on CD--"a crown of thorns, pierced hands and feet [thus, the hand and foot], a body bruised, and mercy's plea." She had "written" the words to the song on the page as well.

She asked me, "what are thorns?"

I explained and so she added the crown of thorns to the picture. She asked why the men who put that crown on Jesus' head wanted to poke him, along with a few more questions relating to Jesus' beating and trial. "Why did the men want to hurt Jesus? Did Jesus know their names who hit him? Did he know that man's name who was standing on the stage (Pilate, depicted in her Bible on-stage before the crowd)?"

Then she asked, "What does 'mercy's plea' mean? Wow, I was thinking--deep stuff for a four-year-old . . . Jeff and I explained in a kind of tag-team fashion.

This is just one example of conversations we have been having almost weekly around here. A few weeks ago, Caroline said to me in a very sensitive, somewhat sad tone, "I wish they could have just kept killing lambs for sins and not have to kill Jesus."

Statements like this coming from her take me aback a bit at first, so I think for a minute and try to come up with an equally sensitive response. It's just so amazing to observe the Holy Spirit's working on such a little heart. I am truly thankful for our new church and the great teaching and music (which Caroline is just soaking up). I also really appreciate the illustrations and writing in Caroline's Big Picture Story Bible. Jeff and I have commented before that some of the text is probably too much for a little one to grasp (even referring specifically to the OT part concerning lambs and sacrifice), but apparently it is sinking in!

Portrait of a Lady We Met Today, by Caroline

There is a lot I would like to write about and catch up on (like Caroline's 4th birthday!), but for now I just have to share a little something that made me smile today.

Caroline and I had to go to the local Department of Public Safety this afternoon to get my driver's license renewed. As is always the case in places like these, there was a long waiting line. For a while Caroline chatted with a very friendly elderly lady who was in line behind us and liked Caroline's "beautiful brown eyes." After she had filled the lady in on her age, recent birthday party, etc., the conversation died down a bit and Caroline decided she'd like to write. She took a little mini notebook over to a desk, worked on a drawing for a little bit, and then came over to tell me, "I drew a picture for her [pointing to the lady behind us]. See--it has her thing what she uses to walk with. I knew what shape it was. But when I taked it out, it teared--see?"

Caroline was upset that it had ripped and so she decided to draw another one. The lady was very pleased with the second drawing and how Caroline had written her own name on it so nicely and how sweet she was to make a picture for her and how impressive it was that she even drew the cane.

I wonder if she would have been as flattered by the first attempt? Not only did it have the lady's cane, but it also showed her pointy, crooked teeth in detail. :)

She didn't draw the teeth in the second one, and I was relieved. :)

Quotable Christmas, Part 2: "Don't buy me any Christmas presents!"

We started packing up the decorations and taking down the tree on January 1, but I still have storage boxes sitting around in the living room (driving Jeff crazy) and guest bedroom. There are still a few things left to sort through and put away, and I'm hoping to get that done sometime tomorrow. I am still working on my "Christmas Resolutions," but I really don't need the decorations and boxes lying about to help me in that pursuit.

I'm sure I will think of more after I post this, but I thought I'd share another Christmas quote. About two weeks before Christmas, we got a package in the mail from Jeff's grandmother, and Caroline was so excited to see a few wrapped presents with her name on them inside the box. When I told her to go put them under the tree, she happily did so. But then she asked, "Can I open them now?" When I told her she would have to wait until Christmas, she was extremely disappointed. "Why can't I open them now?/How many days until it's Christmas?/ That's soooo long [her voice getting shakier]. I can't wait that long [shoulders sagging, almost crying]!"

A week later another package came, this time from my Aunt Karen. We opened the box and found another wrapped gift with her name on it! "Can I open it?" she asked eagerly. "No, go put it under the tree--it's for Christmas," I told her.

She could hardly bear the news. She did what I asked, but walked towards the tree carrying the gift as if it weighed 50 pounds and her arms couldn't support it. Shoulders again sagging, this time she actually did begin to cry and asked me, "Why does everybody keep sending me Christmas gifts?"

The following weekend, Jeff and I arranged for a babysitter to come over while we went out together and had a shopping date. Caroline was already excited about Katie (one of her favorite teenagers ever) coming to visit, but just to add to this excitement, I explained to her that she was going to stay home with Katie while we went out and that the reason she couldn't come along was because we were going to buy her some presents!

After Katie arrived and we had talked for a minute, she started down the hall and said, "Caroline, come show me your room." I gave Caroline a last-minute hug and told her to be good. She squeezed me back and as we were leaving called out cheerfully, "Don't buy me any Christmas presents!"

Quotable Christmas

Caroline was so amped up over the holiday, she chattered non-stop--even more non-stop than she usually does. (Is that even possible, you ask? You would have to experience it firsthand to understand.) For one thing, we had all of Jeff's family in town so that meant 11 extra people to talk to!! For another, it was Christmas time and she is three. There was just so much going on and so many presents to unwrap and play with (only child, only grandchild, only neice . . .)!

Here are just a few of my favorite sayings from this Christmas:

"Just what I always wanted!" squealed repeatedly while digging through her stocking and finding, well, stocking gifts--shampoo, lip gloss, candy . . . All of these things were just what she'd always wanted.

*****

On Christmas morning before we had opened any gifts, someone (I think Uncle Josh or Aunt Meesh) asked Caroline if she knew why we gave each other gifts at Christmas time. I think she said, "nuh-uh," (which is what she says even if you've already gone over something with her; I think it's because she would like to be told again and enjoy the repetition--sometimes this is kind of frustrating), and she was told, "It's because God gave us a gift--Jesus. So we give each other gifts and remember the best gift ever that was given to us."

Caroline said, "Yeah, and maybe I will give God a gift too."

"What will you give him"

"A yo-yo."

??

*****

One evening while we were over at Dan's and Lisa's house, Caroline came running into the kitchen where most of us were and exclaimed, "Uncle ----- is sitting on the potty like a GIRL!"

"What? How do you know?"

"Cause I went in there and sawed him [laughing]!"

"What did Uncle ----- say?"

"Shut the door."

"Haven't we talked about knocking when the door is shut?"

We have, by the way. Being part Sawatzky, Caroline lacks the personal space gene--she doesn't really need her own, nor does she expect others to. In my family, a closed door means nothing. Jeff discovered this the first time he visited while we were dating. When he told me that my sister had started to open the door while he was changing, I asked him if he had locked it. He said, "No--I shut it," in a shouldn't-that-be-enough sort of tone. That's not enough around here, I explained.

The house we are renting has one of the weirdest master bedroom/bath set-ups ever, in my opinion. There are two small double doors leading into the bathroom from the bedroom and they do not lock. And in the bathroom itself, there is not a door to separate the "water closet" from the rest of the bathroom. So if you want privacy, you have to lock the bedroom doors--which are also double doors. And in order for them to lock, the first one has to be bolted with a sliding thing up top and then the second closed and locked on the handle. That's a lot of work for a bathroom trip! It makes absolutely no sense to me.

So there have been quite a few times we have not done due diligence by adequately securing the premises and have had to tell Caroline, "Shut the door! Knock first!"

I'm guessing in her eagerness to follow Uncle ----- around in order to know what he was up to at all times, she didn't remember this little rule.

*****

On a very different note, the very first thing Caroline said on Christmas morning--when we were expecting her to say she couldn't wait to open presents--was, "I can't wait to go to Heaven and see Lindsey." I thought it was sweet that she was thinking about her friend.

*****

I hope everyone had a good holiday season. I feel out of touch because I didn't send out any Christmas cards this year and haven't been on here to give an update in a long time (as Nikki pointed out). :) There is still lots I'd like to write, but this will have to be all for now. Hopefully I'll post some pictures and other things this week. Happy [somewhat belated] New Year!

"Maybe you could make me a list."

A few weeks ago I walked into Caroline's room and noticed lots of clothes and hangers on her closet floor. She had been in the habit of pulling items down off the hangers (which are way above her head) so she could change clothes and "dress up." This usually resulted in broken hangers, previously clean clothes in a heap on the floor, and shirt necks stretched and buttons popped from being pulled on so hard.

I had already explained to Caroline that she shouldn't pull clothes down from the closet, but, apparently, had not been specific enough. I think I had said something like, "don't pull on your dresses--you'll ruin them," or, "you've got to stop making such a mess by pulling all these clothes out of the closet." I had said things like this more than once, so that day when I walked in and saw the mess I started to get frustrated.

"Caroline, look at this mess in your closet," I said, very sternly.

She looked at all the clothes and shook her head side to side, as if in agreement with me that, yes, this was quite a mess. I think she assumed I would be less upset with her if we were on the same page right away.

"What has mommy told you about taking clothes down?"

She explained herself: "I didn't pull them. I stood on my car--see--and I just got them down like that. I didn't pull them."

"But I told you not to even take them down, didn't I?"

She thought about it with a very cute thinking face and then said, "Oops, I forgot."

I gave her the benefit of the doubt, figuring it was possible she had misunderstood something. And I realized, as I have many times since becoming a mom and going through the whole discipline thing, that I have to be especially clear by spelling out everything I mean.

So I said, "Okay, for next time you need to remember--

• don't pull your clothes down and make a mess on the floor,
• don't pull your clothes down at all--don't stand on the floor and pull them down, don't climb on something to reach them and pull them down,
• don't take any clothes out of your closet--not any--you can play with the ones that are in your dresser, only the ones that are in your dresser . . .

Can you remember that for next time so you don't get in trouble?"

She had the cute thinking face on again. She touched her pointer finger to her chin and said thoughtfully, "maybe you could make me a list."

I said, "A list??"

"Yeah, like [she started to list on her fingers] don't pull on the clothes, don't stand on my car, don't take bologna out the fridgerator, don't take money out my piggy bank, don't use your chapstick 'out asking first . . ."

And she went on. Apparently, she can remember a whole lot of things. But it would be really helpful to her to have a list. :)

"My cheeks are still chubby . . ."

When I woke up a few mornings ago, Caroline's sweet face was staring right at me. She smiled a big grin and said "good morning!" and I said, "good morning, stinky (it's an affectionate term I use whether I think she's stinky or not)."

She was lying there with a little hand under one of her cheeks. She stayed like that for a moment smiling at me and then she stopped, as if something had occurred to her--

She said, "My cheeks are still chubby," and she squeezed the side of her face that had the hand under it and added, "I can feel them squishin."

At which point I grabbed her and sqeezed her until she almost couldn't breathe. I love it when she says things like that. :)

The ants go marching one-by-one . . .

Before Caroline’s nap just a while ago, we were sitting on the couch cuddling, at her request. She was yakking my head off, as usual, but every once in a while she would stop talking long enough to stick her thumb in her mouth and hold her tiger for a minute. Apparently, she was in deep thought during one of these quiet moments because she popped her thumb out of her mouth and said, “How does that ant song go?”

We had just come from story time at the library where they sang “The Ants Go Marching.” I sang her the first two verses. At the end of verse one, the little ant stops to suck his thumb, and at the end of verse two, he stops to tie his shoe.

I was expecting her to ask me to sing all the rest of the verses when she said, “Why he stops and sucks him thumb?”

I said I wasn’t sure.

She looked at me with a "that dosen't make any sense" face and said, “He can suck his thumb while he’s walkin. That’s what I do.”

She decided the song should go, “The ants go marching one-by-one; the little one walks and sucks his thumb.” ☺

New Friends

Ever since we moved, Caroline has been actively seeking friends. Every Sunday she wants to know who will be at church. Every other day she wants to know who we are seeing today. If I say I don't know, she'll supply me with suggestions.

She's really excited to be making so many friends. She loves listing all of their names and she said once, "I can't believe I have so many friends. I can't even count them all!"

Granted, making friends is extremely easy at three, especially when your approach involves simply staring at a kid until he or she looks at you and then, when he/she does, waving and (if that goes well) saying, "do you wanna play?"

On our second or third visit to the church we are now attending, I went to pick her up from her class and she was holding a little girl's hand. I said, "Did you find a friend?" And she said, "Uh-huh, her's my best friend!" I said, "What's her name?"

She turned to the girl and said, "What's your name?"

Today we saw this little girl (whose name is Addy, by the way) along with several other children. We visited the Dallas Arboretum--it was a great outing! I'd go every day if it were closer.

Here is Caroline with her best baby friend (in Frisco), Violet. When we first met Violet, Caroline called her Baby Eye-lip. She went from that to Vi-lip. And now that she knows better,
she calls her VioleT with a very strong T.

This is Addy, who is a month shy of three but taller than Caroline. :)

And here is the whole group, including Addy's baby sister Sadie and Isaac, Elijah, and Lucy. Caroline liked playing with the boys, except when she slipped and bruised her knee and said
she didn't want to play their game anymore.

It was so nice to be outside in the pretty fall weather. Caroline ran
and played (and danced) herself to exhaustion.

She Makes Her Daddy Proud

Last week while we were driving in the car, Caroline said, "What day is today?"

"Friday," I told her.

"And then Saturday and then Sunday?"

"Yep.

"I know what comes on Sunday," she said proudly.

And I said, "Oh yeah, what's that?" totally expecting her to say "church."

"Football!" she said, excitedly.

"Oooh . . . yeah, you're right."

And then for some reason (I sensed an educational moment??) I added, "You know what, pro football is on Sunday and college football is on Saturday."

I expected her to respond with her earlier enthusiasm, but she just said, "I knowed that already--Dad told me."

Yes, of course, that is so old news.

---

This past Tuesday, Jeff took Caroline to the Mavericks/Bulls game and so the night before we had to run to the mall to get her a jersey. Jeff was hoping to get her a Bulls jersey, but--since he couldn't find one--he got her the next best thing, another Chicago team's jersey, which she is extremely proud of.

When they got home Tuesday night, I asked her what she did at the game and she said, "Sawed a lot of girls!"

Um, okay? Jeff assured me that she saw all of these girls not with him but while sitting in the front with his boss and boss' brother, who have season tickets on the floor and didn't really mind the female attention Caroline attracted. :) Apparently, she got the royal treatment. She got a VIP pass to eat in the suite and get cotton candy . . .

she got a special visit from the mascot,

and spent a while on the jumbo tron.
Jeff says he just hopes she doesn't expect this at every game.

"I will tell him sorry."

Last night before bed, Caroline brought me her picture Bible and asked me to read from it. Before I could put away the book I was reading, she was already turning pages in hers. She said, "Let's read about when they're dead."

"When who's dead?" I asked.
"Jesus. About when they kill him and die him."

She got to the section of her Bible that deals with Jesus' death, pointed to a very simple and touching illustration of him on the cross and asked, "Why there's blood on it?"

"Because . . . (I had to think about how I wanted to put it) they put nails in his hands and feet so he would hang on the cross." This struck me as extremely gruesome at that moment.

"And that poked him?"
"Uh-huh."

"Why they did that?"
"Because they wanted to kill him."

"Why they wanted to kill him? They didn't like him?"
"No, they didn't."

"What were their names who killed him?"
"We don't know the names of everyone who killed him, but a lot of people were angry with him and wanted him to die."

Caroline turned the page and asked what they were doing there. I said that after Jesus died they took his body to bury it.

Next page--"and what there?"
"All the people who loved Jesus were together talking about him and missing him."

Next page--"and what there?"
"She is going to where Jesus is buried to think about him and remember him, like how we go to where Lindsey was buried to think about her and remember her."

Next page--looking at me, waiting . . .
"She finds out that Jesus isn't there anymore. He isn't dead."

She turns the pages quickly--
". . . and she goes to tell the other people"
". . . and they go and see that Jesus isn't there anymore"
". . . and they go to tell everybody"

"And what he's doing here?"
"Jesus comes to them and explains everything to them."

"Who got him to be alive--God?"
"Yes."

"Is he in Heaven with God?"
"Yes."

She thought for a minute, shook her head, and with her face down said, "Maybe if I can go to Heaven, I will tell him sorry."

"Sorry for what?"
"That he died."

I thought this was a very tender thing to say, and it warmed my heart to see her so touched. But I wanted to emphasize the hope of the story, so I explained to her, "Well, Jesus isn't dead anymore, remember? And you know what--it hurt him to die but he wanted to do it. You could tell him sorry that it hurt, but he wanted to do it so he could save us. He was so strong that he could have made the people not hurt him, but he let them kill him so that he could die in our place."

"Could God have maked them not kill him?"
"Yes, he could have, but he was letting them kill him so . . . so that we wouldn't have to die the same way he did."

I started to explain sin to her and how Jesus was paying for our sin. As I talked she was turning pages the other way in her Bible, and she came to the story about Lazarus and asked what was happening there. We switched from the topic of sin to the topic of graveclothes because she wanted to know why Lazarus was wearing all that white.

I sensed that our moment of "deep" conversation had come to an end, but I am certain she will come back to the topic soon. This challenges me to be even more prepared for the next round of questions. I think back to when I was very young and found the comfort and friendship of Jesus . . . how sweet to know Caroline can have this as well someday, maybe even soon.

I am really enjoying being a mother right now--we have so much to learn together and I can't tell you how exciting this is for me!

Caroline loves a good story.

I think I can attribute a lot of this to the fact that she has heard us tell each other stories about her probably for as long as she can remember and definitely way before we thought she was listening.

But I think it is also due in large part to the fact that any time she would spend the night with my family she would get a story out of Ama (my mom), who always told pretty good ones. My mom used to tell Addy and Libby stories about when she was little and the minute she was finished with one, they would say, "tell us another." So she'd tell another, and another, and another . . . until she couldn't remember anymore, at least not that night. Once their requests had nearly depleted the childhood memory reservoir, she went to making up stories about them, in code names, and they loved these as well. She now tells these stories to Caroline on visits when Caroline is getting the extra special I-know-I-can-ask-for-a-whole-lot-and-get-it -because-I-am-with-you-guys bedtime routine.

Lately, though, Caroline is asking for stories at all times of day. It may be at bedtime or it may be right after she thinks she noticed some "story" in something you just said. Like last night at supper she said that we should go fishing and catch a fish and then eat it for dinner. I knew exactly where this came from--an episode of Caillou in which his grandpa takes him fishing. I told Caroline that my grandpa used to take me fishing.

"When you were a little girl?"
"Yep."
"Will you tell me another story, Mommy?"

Wait a minute, did I just tell a story?

Tonight after Dan got home from work (Jeff's brother Dan and his wife are living with us until they close on their new house), he said that traffic was terrible on the way home and he mentioned briefly that at one point he thought a cop was going to pull him over but didn't. When he was finished with this news, Caroline asked, "Could you tell another story, Dan?"

It seems she hangs on every word of what--to us--is very mundane conversation. I think it's cute and I actually just read something last night in Raising Lifelong Learners that stressed how important it is for language development that children have opportunity for conversation and shared stories. It suggested building storytime and conversation ritual into each day and I like the thought of that. The only thing is, I'm sure that as soon as I arrange for a one-on-one sit-down conversation and have Caroline on my lap she'll just look at me excitedly and say, "Do you wanna play I Spy?"

Anyway, all of this leads me to another idea. If any of you have stories to tell, please share. You could send them to her in an email--how convenient. Obviously, they needn't be extraordinary--tell her about your drive home from work or something. :)

(And, Mama/Addy/Libby, I would like some of those Quay and Boppity-Bop stories written out, please. Make it a "projec." Love you.)

(And Aunt K--I'm sure you could come up with some great stories of when you and Ama were little. Love you too.)

"Can I check my email?"

Caroline asks me this more than once a day pretty much every day. Whenever we're at the library, which has been quite often lately, and I'm whisking her through the big room towards the children's section, she pauses and pulls me almost to a stop at the computer station and says, "Can I check my email?"

And she'll do this more than once in a given library visit. At the library I always say, "No, not right now." But the other day on the way home from the library she asked if she could check her email on my computer when we got home. In an effort to not always go with my initial reaction and say "no" I said, "Sure--but, Caroline, why do you need to check your email?"

"I need to see what my baby brother's name is going to be."

?? (No, we're not expecting, by the way.)

So at home I pulled up Word and let her type. She loved pointing out letters and pushing the keys, but she also wanted to use the mouse and soon I found that she had opened a lot of my computer programs by clicking on them. I let her play around for a while and ended the session before she could ask to go on pbskids.org.

All of this leads me to a very exciting announcement: Caroline is going to have a for-real email address and she would be tickled pink to get for-real emails. If you want to write her a note for me to read to her, send it to ecarolinecarlson@yahoo.com.

She would be soooo excited if I told her she had an email to check. :)

"Sometimes I don't know what to do when my dad's not here."

Caroline has become extremely sensitive to Jeff being gone lately. Even on days when he's just at the office, she sighs and says, "I miss my dad," or "I wish Dad would come home." If she's awake as he's leaving she'll take a dramatic turn and cry for him as he says goodbye.

The other day she was restless and fidgety and came to sit on my lap. She said the usual, "I miss Daddy," and then she added, "Sometimes I don't know what to do when my dad's not here." The sweet thing is--though she's quite the drama queen sometimes--I can tell she really means it.

On the other hand, there are times when it seems she just wants a good cry. Like the other day when we were both in a public bathroom stall (a place in which she's always extremely talkative), she got really pathetic and teary-eyed and stuck out her bottom lip and informed me,

"I missed you when I was in your tummy!"
"What?"
"I couldn't see you and I missed you!"(And she actually dropped a few tears--amazing.)

I assured her that she was just fine when she was in my tummy and there was no reason to be sad about it now.

I seriously wonder sometimes if she might have a career in [melo]drama.

"I keep changing my mind 'bout what I want to be when I grow up."

This morning Caroline reminded me that after three is four and after four is five. Five--that magic age where everything wonderful in her life will happen. She said excitedly, "I can't wait to be all growed up!" Then she kind of wrinkled her forehead and added, "I keep changing my mind 'bout what I want to be when I grow up . . . a doctor for checkups . . . a donut maker . . . a ice cream maker . . ."

I told her she had plenty of time to decide. I'll keep you posted on what she comes up with.